Not SO FAST!!!

Last night we all went to the Mega grocery store, all three girls and Jacob. After we got our food items I wandered over to the clothing section to check out any deals there might be for the upcoming school year. This Fall, both Anne and Madeline will be going off to Big Girl School and only Lily will be home with me. Her preschool starts later and gets out earlier. I like that I will have this small amount of time just with her. My girls are growing up so fast, and honestly, I don't like it. I am disgusted with people when they say "Kids grow up so fast!". I just want to punch their face right through the computer. Yeah! That's what people do! GROW. When you feed them.

Now I find myself groaning with the thought of the girls going to the next grade, thinking about how they will daydream about boys, remembering how they were when they were Lily's age. The other day I walked down the hall and paused to find Lily in the bathroom, standing on a little chair, on her tippy toes, brushing her teeth all by herself. She could barely see herself in the mirror. That is when I realized how big she has gotten this summer. Sigh.

In the grocery store I bought Anne and Madeline some new underwear. That is when Madeline started whining about something she wanted. I looked over. Ohmygosh the bras. BRAS, people! I had my own money to spend and I thought I would indulge them and let them feel grown and important. So, I found the littlest tiniest little bras for little people and I bought 3 for 9$.

Madeline RUNS up to Jacob, SCREAMING "Dad I got a BRA! We got BRAS!!!" and then Anne chimes in and Lily is screaming and it is a little chorus of small children screaming about bras. Jacob looks at me, and says in the most exasperated tone "I don't want to know!".

Knowing this would probably give Jacob more gray hairs, I had the girls put on their bras when they got home and show them to Jacob. :)

Raisin' em right means: Making Mama a Hotdog.

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.. is that a correct quote? I'm not sure where it came from, but sometimes it can be flattery, enlightening, or just plain mean. Today, I woke up in a rare good mood, (not being a morning person by nature..) so I decided to be just plain mean to Jacob. :)

I followed him around the house mimicking everything he did.. it was as if I had turned into a ten year old, the opposite of Tom Hanks in BIG.

Jacob: "What are you going to do today?"

Me: " What are YOU going to do today?"

Jacob: " I'm going to be moving files ."

Me: "well, I'M going to be moving piles. of laundry. "

He puts on his deodorant, I do it. He brushes his teeth, so do I. I just followed him around and did everything he did - at the time he did it - just to see what he would do.

At first he was all : heystopitthat'snotcoolLaura but in the end I think he liked the attention.

After he went to work I went to work in the kitchen doing the dishes, making my children hotdogs at 9:30, sweeping, prepping a chicken for dinner.. WHY YES I am making hot dogs at 9:30 am.. because Mama wanted a hotdog for breakfast. I think I am going to start a tumblr account and name it "HotDogs For Breakfast", because lets face it America. This is who we are.

So I'm in there and I hear the girls in the living room playing with each other and they are pretending to be Mama and Baby.

I love hearing this because: A.) They never ever play together unless they are trying to kill each other. and B.) Madeline was me. She was.. pretending to be me, and saying things she thought I would say. The mimicking was now all about me and I must say it is not always cool to hear your 6 year old yell at your 3 year old. Madeline screamed

"Where is your sister? WHERE IS SHE!!??"

I sort of laughed and cringed on the inside. So I really sound like that? When do I ever yell tha..... OHHHHH YEAH. Sometimes Lily will escape and try to go outside and that is a big NO NO in my house. You can't just go outside by YOURSELF! What if one of those gross turkey buzzards that fly around comes over and picks up my baby and scoops her away to the Dump?-- or worse--- a tick gets on you.

EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW.

I just heard Lily say "Mama I'm huuuungry. " Madeline went through the motions of trying to get her something to eat. Finally I heard Madeline reply.. "(sigh) I'll get you some water. "

I think I am going to go in there and reward her with another hotdog.

Be Careful Little Ears, What you hear.

There are times in my life, where I have had an epiphany, an eye opening, an awakening to how things are or have been in my life. These moments of clarity to life's mysteries always leave me to be more of a grown woman, a little bit better of a wife, or mother. I never write about them, but keep them hidden in my heart so I will remember them and keep them close to me.

A moment like this happened to me recently and more than anything I was ashamed at how I had been acting around my children. Sometimes, children will say cuss words or make some action that is just like their parents. When the parents ask "where did you hear that word??!" Of course, the parents are immediately ashamed when they realize it was out of their very own mouths that the sweet innocent children heard those words. Sometimes over, and over, and over again.

It happened when we went on vacation recently, to Orange Beach, Alabama. It is my favoritestestest place to go. We have been there before, but actually, it is the first time I have ever really felt like I was on vacation. That is sad to say... but honestly, I don't get to go on vacation with people who let me be myself. This time, is was wonderful .. I was with my husband, my children, my mother, and our roommate Aaron. Aaron is Benstedman's brother. We claim them all as family (see Stedman/Senecal Thanksgiving), and when the opportunity came for Aaron to live with us in January, of course we wanted him here. I hope he never leaves. He is perfect with the girls (when we get to see him) and loves to play and be a perfect gentleman in my home and be considerate and kind and forgiving. It is wonderful .

So.. we are on vacation. This means we are in a place that has cable. Jacob took away my cable (I say MY cable for many reasons JonStewart) when we needed to save some money. He got a Tivo in its place and it is the best thing Jacob has ever bought, besides my wedding ring. We watched everything on vacation that we don't get to watch at home.... including the stupid stuff. On one channel, a woman is crying tears of joy... because she is hunting in the woods with her pubescent son, and they are waiting on this one buck who is oblivious to their little hideout. They waited patiently for three days for these deer to wander over to this field.. and they take their shot and she gets her buck. Normally we would never watch this, but by gosh we are on VACATION. While I am standing there, thinking.. ::poor deer. Poor kid!:: Madeline saunters over to the TV and yells " a deer! A DEEER!!! " and starts barking. At the TV screen. Loud. "bark! bark! Bark! bark!"

This is when my moment of realizing that every time I go over to the window or door to scare the deer out of my yard, and bark at them, my children see it. They are just mimicking me. And honestly, I look pretty stupid. I have decided to not bark at the deer anymore. I will just watch them from my windows... glaring at them until they run away.

I am going to be more careful about lots of things. :)

TGIF

Madeline reminded me that today is FRIDAAAY!! and you know what that means, of course.   

What's that?

you DON'T know??!!? 

Well, of course it is Friday, and in Five-year-old language, that means it is French Fry-day.  

So every week, on Friday, I get this guilt trip about it being Friday, and mom, I really feel like going somewhere today. Where you ask? Oh, you know.. a restaurant.  Um, one that serves french Fries. And I am sooooo hungry oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh my stomach hurts, I am dying of hunger look at my eyes roll back in my head. 

I think I should go ahead and put that kid in some drama classes. 

You know Jacob has had enough when...

I called Brandice today and told her how grumpy my husband was today, and how I thought it was so out-of-the-ordinary because WE WIVES are supposed to be the grumpy ones!! We are the ones running after that wild-eyed two year old with a magic marker in her little hand, while she makes a streak of black along the hallway wall. All the while I am screaming "get back here!" and she is laughing hysterically.  Oh, Motherhood.. you tricky tricky thing. You show me this beautiful helpless babe who needs me for sustenance and life, and then it grows to be a marker-loving-2-year-old devil who likes to kick you in the face while wiggling in your bed at 3 a.m.

So Jacob woke up grumpy. Maybe it was the fact that before we even got out of bed this morning, Lily had woken up, found my make-up bag, unzipped it, found the mascara and clutching it in her little hands, had made a beautiful black drawing on her bedroom floor carpet.   and her legs.   and her face.   and my make-up bag. 

It is times like this that I treasure the most.. the Jacob-being-grumpy part.  He is so funny when he is grumpy.  I asked him to help me make dinner in the kitchen, which tonight consists of cutting up a bunch of fresh vegetables from the garden to make a chicken vegetable stew.  The girls had come running through, with an elaborate play they made up starring Lily as Strawberry Shortcake, Anne as her dog Pupcake, and Madeline as her cat Custard.  I riled them up by announcing that today was National Chocolate Milk day, and "who wants some??".  

After giving them their drinks and all the jumping and shouting on their part, Jacob ushered them back into their bedroom, put a Strawberry Shortcake movie on for them,  and warned them not to leave the room.  I didn't know this until I took a break from making dinner to go back there and check on them. 

They were all sitting there, playing out the parts, and I sat down and gave Lily a big hug. Anne looked at me and said, in a sort-of shy tone : "Daddy said if we set one toe out of this room, he was going to put us in the basement and make us starve. " In which Anne and I busted out laughing... how ridiculous is that?   Please!!   If we put them anywhere, they would find a way out. They would eat through the walls, these kids of mine. They are tough and mean and have sharp metal teeth.  And Jacob has the biggest heart of gold. He can't even bring himself  to spank those girls, or put them in the corner. 

I just heard him leave the kitchen, grab a girl in the hallway and growl "RRRAAAAWWWRRR!!! I'M AN OGRE!!!" and I know that hearing all the girls screaming secretly made him happy. 

zzzzzzzzzz........

This is what happens to me every week. .

I clean my house, I vacuum, mop, do laundry, and dishes. I make sure everything is put away and the coffee is ready to start in the morning. I feel so organized and accomplished.  It feels so great to look around and feel like you can walk around without your shoes on.. God forbid you step on one of those sharp little legos that bruise the bottom of your tender feet. 

I go to bed patting myself on the back and then that thing happens.. It happens often. It's happened most of my life. I don't sleep.  Somewhere down the line, there must be vampire blood or owl blood or something else that is majorly screwed, because I can't figure out what I am doing wrong to deny myself sleep. 

I LOVE sleep. I could stay in bed aaaaallllll day and just snuggle in the covers and and read my Readers Digest or watch Barack Obama and dream about what it would be like if I had married him or Jon Stewart instead.   

But sometimes, well.. often.. I just don't sleep. I will lay away till about 2 or 3 a.m. and then finally drift off. Then if or when I wake up, my day becomes Cranky Momma Day. The kids scatter and learn to get their own water or juice. Last week on that particular day, I woke up and started sneezing over and over. So I decide to take a Benadryl. (I never take medicine). About an hour later, Jacob is ready to go to work and the Benadryl knocks my ass out.  I am the crankiest momma ever, yelling "SSHHHHHHH!!!", and "LET MOM SLEEEEP."

My children have learned from this sleep deprived state of motherhood. 

The other day, the girls were talking to themselves at the kitchen table. Madeline started chanting "Apple juice! Apple juice!! Apple juice!! Apple juice!! Apple juice!! Apple juice!!" and I said "Madeline, that isn't a nice way to ask for juice. " And Anne piped up to be the big sister and said "Maaaadeliiine. Don't ask like that. You could anger Mom. And then she might ATTACK!!" and she curled her fingers and sort of lunged at Madeline.  Which I thought was hilarious. 

Today was a good morning, though. I got up, took a shower to wake myself up, and started cleaning. Then I swept, mopped, checked on the garden, mailed my netflix back, stuff like that. I'm getting ready for Ben Stedman to come over for dinner, which he never does anymore because he is famous and has to practice all the time for his band that I secretly wish he wasn't in.  Because then he would be bored and we could see him more.  I have a feeling that since I didn't sleep last night, that he will come over, I will laugh and have a drink and then perhaps pass right out and not spend any time with him. I won't get to make fun of him or ANYTHING.

Guess I better get it all out of my system right when he walks in the door.  Anyone wanna help me fill up some water balloons?

A major milestone happened today, without my control or nagging.  Many of you know that my middle child Madeline will not eat certain things. In fact, her eating habits are in these food groups :  Chicken nuggets, plain straight french fries, french baguette bread, grapes, apples, oranges, berries, most fruit.. and uncooked raw vegetables, such as carrots sticks, cucumber slices, peas, beans, cabot sharp cheddar ( it has to be Cabot) and peanut butter.  That is pretty much IT, folks.  And her food cannot touch each other. I forgot hotdogs. She loves hotdogs.  When I give her the hotdog, she will often tell me whether or not she wants it cut up, or in a bun, and what to put on the dog itself.  If I put mustard and ketchup on her plate, THEY CANNOT TOUCH OR THE PLANET WILL EXPLODE, MOM. 

Seriously, I will have to start all over. She will not eat a peanut butter sandwich. But she will eat peanut butter on a spoon and then eat some bread on the side.  Won't eat macaroni and cheese, or pizza, or spaghetti... none of the kid-loving meals. I make a big fuss about how silly it is for her to get upset and make sure she knows that I think she should just get over it. 

Today Madeline and Lily were watching Blues Clues (or Lily says.. Boos Cooos!!) and it was the 'snack time' episode. When I made the girls lunch today, I just made a "snack time" themed lunch. I bought Madeline one of those plates with dividers so it would be easier for me to keep her food separated. I put some cut up apples in one pocket, a piece of bread in another, cucumbers, and a spoonful of peanut butter.  Later when I came in the room, she wanted to show me how when you mix apples with peanut butter that "it tastes like apple juice". I was shocked as I watched her dip a slice of apple into her peanut butter AND THEN EAT IT. Without force.  I was amazed.  

And she said she saw it on Blues Clues. 

I love you, T.V. 

Conversations : Anne and Madeline.

Last Friday, I was feeling very emotional. I was contemplating God , His omnipotent Grace and Love. A little girl was being born that day, but was sure to be born stillborn. It brought so many feelings of hope, doubt, faith, love and confusion. The little girls name was Elizabeth Ann, and she was born at Helen Keller Hospital. The same place where my Anne Elizabeth was born 7 years ago. I couldn't help but think about this couple, and how lucky I am to have this beautiful girl, so healthy and wonderful. I wondered, why God allows this to happen, but also understanding His graciousness and blessings. It rained all day that day, on and off. Every time I looked away from something, it seemed like I would burst into tears. "Hello Bank Teller!! Have a wonderful weekend!!" Then as I pulled away from the bank, my face would collapse into sobs again.  I was mimicking the clouds. It would rain for five minutes, then clear up and be sunny, and back and forth. 

Madeline was really watching the sky that day, mainly because it is the first Thunderstorm of the year, and really the first Thunderstorm we have had in a long time. I love thunderstorms so much, and I am figuring that maybe Madeline will follow in my footsteps by marveling in natures emotions. 

Madeline and Anne were sitting at the dinner table and we were talking. Madeline said "I think Jesus is crying. I think He makes the thunder. Jesus lives in the CLOUDS!!"

Anne: "No He doesn't!!"

Me: "Yes he does!! If he can live in our hearts, he can live anywhere. "

Madeline: "Jesus lives in our BODIES." (rubs hands from her neck down her tummy)

Anne: "Jesus is even in this room!!"

Madeline: (looks up and waves) "HIIII JESUS!!!"

Madeline and Anne erupt in laughter, filling the kitchen with little girl giggles. 

Madeline: "I LOVE Jesus. I love him so much, that when I see him, I'm gonna give him kisses and hugs! I'm gonna kiss him to death!!     

But.... I'll be dead. "

Then I erupt in laughter.  That kid. She is pretty smart, but a different kind of smart than Anne. She seems to understand things that Anne doesn't. I've noticed several times when Madeline has understood something waaay before Anne did. 

Today is Madeline's birthday!! She is 5 and believes that she is almost a teenager. SO BIG.  I remember when she was born. The daffodils were blooming and the cherry trees than lined the hospital grounds were blossoming with beautiful pink blooms. She was born underwater, and it was the most beautiful and easiest birth I had. I felt so blessed to add another sweet girl to my family. Tomorrow is Jacob's birthday, and I have no idea what we are going to do. 

Maybe I should ask Madeline.....

Easter Weekend.

Easter Weekend wasn't so bad this year. It was actually kind of nice. There were no screaming matches, no food was thrown ,  no vomit, no goose eggs on foreheads.

First, I went to my Mothers side of the family and had lunch with corresponding Egg Hunt.  Then I went  to my Dad's, where we had church, lunch and corresponding Egg Hunt. 

This is my Dad's last year to be preaching during Easter. This June he will retire from the Clergy. THANKYOUGOD. For once, I would like to not have to travel all the way down to Deliverance country and perhaps go to my very own church for Easter Sunday.  I think the church will really miss him.  He has been there for about 12-13 years now, and he has traveled an hour there every Sunday and back again for that long.  His gas bill, and his car, will thank him come June.  

My step mother put  yellow roses she cut from her garden in our room where we stayed, and that made a difference to me. I love yellow roses. She probably didn't know that, but it made me happy to see them and it was sweet.  

Here, I like to joke that my Dad is saying "Lord, what am I going to do with these granddaughters of mine??" They are quite the handful. 

Madeline, standing outside of my Dad's church, being all cute and sweet as usual. 

She reminds me so much of myself when I was her age. 

Here, Lily shows her Aunt Beth this flower she picked and how it is more special than any other flower in the whole wide world and can I ride home with you, please??

When I was Lily's age, I sucked my fingers the exact same way she does, only it was with my other hand. My Step-mother made these dresses for the girls. 

Lily is upset with me that I am trying to take her picture, and clings to big sister Anne for help. Anne loves Lily and loves to show affection to her little sister. She just hugs her back. 

That was pretty much my Easter. It was nice, but I am so glad to be back home and be in Florence. There is no other place like it for us. We've visited all over the country, but Florence holds special meaning for us and we wouldn't trade it for anything else.  Now, if you have a bungalow down in the Caribbean and there are sandy white beaches and twizzlers to drink our coconut drinks out of, and palm trees and all of our friends can come, then I might think about living there for half of the year.

Splashing in the puddles.

The other day, 

When it was still warm Spring weather,

it rained.

I took the advantage,

I let go of the fear. 

I took my girls outside

to jump in the Springtime puddles.

The warm rain had left a small puddle in our driveway

where the nutrients and rich soil

drift in the tiny river 

covering the small delicate feet of my children.

Children don't understand the complexities of Motherhood.

The dark black footprints left on my white carpet,

The wet hands clinging to my cotton shirt,

tugging at me because they are barefoot.

They watch as the snails creep by. 

They too, are enjoying the wetness and smell of a fresh rain.

Splashing and jumping,

Splashing and jumping,

The girls become mud monsters,

Attacking me with their muddy hands and feet.

I lean against a brick wall and watch them.

I am filing this memory in a special place. 

Watching the clouds roll in, another rain storm is coming,

our time is short. 

I sigh and take more pictures,

because soon they will be all grown up,

and just like me, they will keep their shoes on, 

and lean back, 

and take pictures themselves.

Another sign that I am in trouble.

This morning, at the table eating breakfast, Anne and Madeline were talking about their apples.

Madeline, of course, being the sweet little strawberry that she is, said to Anne : "Aaaaannnnee! Our Apples are TWIIIINS!!" Everything that child says is sprinkled with sparkly fairy dust.

Anne simply looks at her and replies "No Madeline. They aren't quite congruent. "

AND SHE KNEW WHAT CONGRUENT MEANT.