You know Jacob has had enough when...

I called Brandice today and told her how grumpy my husband was today, and how I thought it was so out-of-the-ordinary because WE WIVES are supposed to be the grumpy ones!! We are the ones running after that wild-eyed two year old with a magic marker in her little hand, while she makes a streak of black along the hallway wall. All the while I am screaming "get back here!" and she is laughing hysterically.  Oh, Motherhood.. you tricky tricky thing. You show me this beautiful helpless babe who needs me for sustenance and life, and then it grows to be a marker-loving-2-year-old devil who likes to kick you in the face while wiggling in your bed at 3 a.m.

So Jacob woke up grumpy. Maybe it was the fact that before we even got out of bed this morning, Lily had woken up, found my make-up bag, unzipped it, found the mascara and clutching it in her little hands, had made a beautiful black drawing on her bedroom floor carpet.   and her legs.   and her face.   and my make-up bag. 

It is times like this that I treasure the most.. the Jacob-being-grumpy part.  He is so funny when he is grumpy.  I asked him to help me make dinner in the kitchen, which tonight consists of cutting up a bunch of fresh vegetables from the garden to make a chicken vegetable stew.  The girls had come running through, with an elaborate play they made up starring Lily as Strawberry Shortcake, Anne as her dog Pupcake, and Madeline as her cat Custard.  I riled them up by announcing that today was National Chocolate Milk day, and "who wants some??".  

After giving them their drinks and all the jumping and shouting on their part, Jacob ushered them back into their bedroom, put a Strawberry Shortcake movie on for them,  and warned them not to leave the room.  I didn't know this until I took a break from making dinner to go back there and check on them. 

They were all sitting there, playing out the parts, and I sat down and gave Lily a big hug. Anne looked at me and said, in a sort-of shy tone : "Daddy said if we set one toe out of this room, he was going to put us in the basement and make us starve. " In which Anne and I busted out laughing... how ridiculous is that?   Please!!   If we put them anywhere, they would find a way out. They would eat through the walls, these kids of mine. They are tough and mean and have sharp metal teeth.  And Jacob has the biggest heart of gold. He can't even bring himself  to spank those girls, or put them in the corner. 

I just heard him leave the kitchen, grab a girl in the hallway and growl "RRRAAAAWWWRRR!!! I'M AN OGRE!!!" and I know that hearing all the girls screaming secretly made him happy. 

zzzzzzzzzz........

This is what happens to me every week. .

I clean my house, I vacuum, mop, do laundry, and dishes. I make sure everything is put away and the coffee is ready to start in the morning. I feel so organized and accomplished.  It feels so great to look around and feel like you can walk around without your shoes on.. God forbid you step on one of those sharp little legos that bruise the bottom of your tender feet. 

I go to bed patting myself on the back and then that thing happens.. It happens often. It's happened most of my life. I don't sleep.  Somewhere down the line, there must be vampire blood or owl blood or something else that is majorly screwed, because I can't figure out what I am doing wrong to deny myself sleep. 

I LOVE sleep. I could stay in bed aaaaallllll day and just snuggle in the covers and and read my Readers Digest or watch Barack Obama and dream about what it would be like if I had married him or Jon Stewart instead.   

But sometimes, well.. often.. I just don't sleep. I will lay away till about 2 or 3 a.m. and then finally drift off. Then if or when I wake up, my day becomes Cranky Momma Day. The kids scatter and learn to get their own water or juice. Last week on that particular day, I woke up and started sneezing over and over. So I decide to take a Benadryl. (I never take medicine). About an hour later, Jacob is ready to go to work and the Benadryl knocks my ass out.  I am the crankiest momma ever, yelling "SSHHHHHHH!!!", and "LET MOM SLEEEEP."

My children have learned from this sleep deprived state of motherhood. 

The other day, the girls were talking to themselves at the kitchen table. Madeline started chanting "Apple juice! Apple juice!! Apple juice!! Apple juice!! Apple juice!! Apple juice!!" and I said "Madeline, that isn't a nice way to ask for juice. " And Anne piped up to be the big sister and said "Maaaadeliiine. Don't ask like that. You could anger Mom. And then she might ATTACK!!" and she curled her fingers and sort of lunged at Madeline.  Which I thought was hilarious. 

Today was a good morning, though. I got up, took a shower to wake myself up, and started cleaning. Then I swept, mopped, checked on the garden, mailed my netflix back, stuff like that. I'm getting ready for Ben Stedman to come over for dinner, which he never does anymore because he is famous and has to practice all the time for his band that I secretly wish he wasn't in.  Because then he would be bored and we could see him more.  I have a feeling that since I didn't sleep last night, that he will come over, I will laugh and have a drink and then perhaps pass right out and not spend any time with him. I won't get to make fun of him or ANYTHING.

Guess I better get it all out of my system right when he walks in the door.  Anyone wanna help me fill up some water balloons?

The Most Magical Place in the World...

.......Used to be Disney Land. Now when someone wins the Superbowl,  all they want to do is go to the Florence River Heritage Park Splash Pad!! Well.. at least me and my kids do. And IT'S FREE!! 

I have only just started taking my children there. I guess I was intimidated by the fact that I would have to take them by myself, and was unsure how much trouble it would be to get them out of the car, set up camp, chase them and yell in front of innocent children with their parents. 

I always have this fear that I am going to do that thing where I start yelling at my kids in public and all the music will stop, and everyone swivels their heads to look at me, mouth agape.  Crickets will chirp, and I will be embarrassed that I was the one yelling in public. 

So, I finally went. To my delight, I wasn't the only one yelling, and  thankfully, the girls were really  really good. :)

It seems like a little oasis in the boring parts of summer, when the air conditioned rooms dry out your skin and make you feel cold.  Every day I wake up and think... should I take the girls to the Splash Pad? They have fun music playing, chlorinated water, and I bring my chair and set up to watch the girls and get some well-deserved sunshine on my face. 

We have only had a couple of really bad moments there. One day Anne dove knee-first onto the concrete, skinning her knees pretty bad.  The other one was horrifying, Madeline got hurt on the gusts of water in a private area.  

Even after scrapes and boo-boos, we still love to go. I think it is magical in the sense that it makes Mommy happy, and I usually bring snacks and Capri-Suns for them.  

Sunshine + Snacks + happy Mama.. = seems too good to be true. 

Now when I say "Who wants to go to the Splash Pad??", Lily will jump up, take her clothes off and scream "SPLASH PAD SPLASH PAD BABY SOUP BABY SOUP". Baby Soup is how she says "bathing suit". 

Maybe we will go today...

See??

This is what happens when Brandice leaves her Baby things here. 

Lily thinks she is a baby again.