Raisin' em right means: Making Mama a Hotdog.

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.. is that a correct quote? I'm not sure where it came from, but sometimes it can be flattery, enlightening, or just plain mean. Today, I woke up in a rare good mood, (not being a morning person by nature..) so I decided to be just plain mean to Jacob. :)

I followed him around the house mimicking everything he did.. it was as if I had turned into a ten year old, the opposite of Tom Hanks in BIG.

Jacob: "What are you going to do today?"

Me: " What are YOU going to do today?"

Jacob: " I'm going to be moving files ."

Me: "well, I'M going to be moving piles. of laundry. "

He puts on his deodorant, I do it. He brushes his teeth, so do I. I just followed him around and did everything he did - at the time he did it - just to see what he would do.

At first he was all : heystopitthat'snotcoolLaura but in the end I think he liked the attention.

After he went to work I went to work in the kitchen doing the dishes, making my children hotdogs at 9:30, sweeping, prepping a chicken for dinner.. WHY YES I am making hot dogs at 9:30 am.. because Mama wanted a hotdog for breakfast. I think I am going to start a tumblr account and name it "HotDogs For Breakfast", because lets face it America. This is who we are.

So I'm in there and I hear the girls in the living room playing with each other and they are pretending to be Mama and Baby.

I love hearing this because: A.) They never ever play together unless they are trying to kill each other. and B.) Madeline was me. She was.. pretending to be me, and saying things she thought I would say. The mimicking was now all about me and I must say it is not always cool to hear your 6 year old yell at your 3 year old. Madeline screamed

"Where is your sister? WHERE IS SHE!!??"

I sort of laughed and cringed on the inside. So I really sound like that? When do I ever yell tha..... OHHHHH YEAH. Sometimes Lily will escape and try to go outside and that is a big NO NO in my house. You can't just go outside by YOURSELF! What if one of those gross turkey buzzards that fly around comes over and picks up my baby and scoops her away to the Dump?-- or worse--- a tick gets on you.

EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW.

I just heard Lily say "Mama I'm huuuungry. " Madeline went through the motions of trying to get her something to eat. Finally I heard Madeline reply.. "(sigh) I'll get you some water. "

I think I am going to go in there and reward her with another hotdog.

Sleeping better!!!

Hooray for Melatonin! I've used it before but never really thought it was helping much. Now it seems to work every time! I've suffered with insomnia since I was a young child and I find melatonin to be a safe, natural and inexpensive trick.

School is almost out for everyone.. Madeline and Lily stay home with me now and we are just waiting for Anne's final days to be over with. Having a schedule where children are gone certain days and at certain times and working around those times-seems to fall in step as we march through the year. This is the part of the year when all the marching in step sees a stop sign up ahead and you are getting ready to halt the whole platoon. It can be frustrating getting things wrapped up, but I always looked forward to having my babies at home with me all summer. We have all sorts of things planned to make our summer fun.. and cheap. The local Library has something prepared for every day of the week. We will definitely be attending Yummy Stories on Saturdays and we might try out Smart Arts and the Science / Deep Sea days. Plus, BF Jaimee works there and we always want to see her face and hug her neck. The children's librarian, Jessica and Mr. Chris, are the best. They are always enthusiastic and loving and kind. (and FUN!!!)

Once day I decided to take the girls to a little sandy cove off the Tennessee River at MacFarland Park. I didn't tell them where we were going, only that it was a surprise. They know refer to the sandy spot as "surprise beach". Although a little smelly at times (fishy), we see majestic herons, paddle wheel boats floating by, watch locals fishing, and the girls are getting a great experience of growing up at the river the way I did when I visited my Grandmother here as a young girl.

The Splash Pad here is where we spent most of our summer last year. I brought the chairs, some capri suns, and just chilled for a couple of hours. It was the best find in this area for fun, free things to do with children during the summer.

Today, Jacob and I went out to our garden and worked before he headed to the office. I dug up the bed of half-grown wilted spinach and after getting most of the ground weeded, I planted some sunflower seeds. I weeded to tomatoes and peas, the herbs (basils, dill) and cucumbers. I was so pleased to notice all the beautiful fat earthworms digging around where I was weeding. At one point I reached my hands into the soil only to scream as I pulled out a blue skink who was indeed one of the largest I have seen. He was startled too and ran for the nearest log to hide under.

Afterwards I got ready to go for a ride in the country with Betsy Ranier to Goose Pond Farms. They are an organic free-range and environmentally-conscious farm that sell beef, chickens and lamb. Betsy had ordered some chickens and went to pick them up -and I thought I would tag along since I am interested in buying things locally and that are good for my family. Betsy said that since the chickens are free to eat a diet that is open and free they have a higher content of Omega Fatty Acids.

She ended up giving me two that had been in her freezer and I am excited to cook them with fresh rosemary, mushrooms and lemons.

I leave you with some pics of the nice sandy spot we visited on Mothers Day.. the surprise beach.

I haven't really slept in two nights.. I'm not sure why, but I have a feeling it has to do with stress.

This means I have an excuse to be short tempered and frustrated and completely look off into space with glazed-over eyes when you talk to me about something I don't care about. That happens a lot. I realize someone is really trying to talk to me about something that happened to them, or they feel a certain way about _______, and I think -- "oh my. I have not been listening. what have they been talking about? Have they asked me questions? I haven't heard any lapses in speech. " Than I start nodding my head in agreement and say .. "Isn't that just life for ya? GOD! "

Maybe I am just getting older, 0r maybe I just need way more sleep.

When Sleep does come, I have Stanley Kubrick dreams. Last night I dreamt that I was having another baby. I had planned on having this baby in a bath tub of an upstairs room that was completely unfinished. I think you could actually see the stars from the tub just by looking upwards. The day came when I started having minor labor pains, and when I sat down to use the bathroom, the baby came out. It was small and wrapped in .. uh.. organs? Wet, red ,.... flesh.

I unwrapped it to see what it was. At first, I thought it was a boy and thought.. FINALLY.. A BOY! but then I realized it was a girl and then thought.. oh my god I have FOUR GIRLS.

She was feisty and alive and chatty. That's right.. chatty. She knew a few words and could say MAMA. I also noticed she had teeth. Like, all of her top teeth. I just gasped and thought how horrible breast feeding would be.

These are my dreams, people.

When I woke up, I realized how sad I was that we aren't having any more children. Jacob was completely done with children after Madeline, but I begged and pleaded to please let me have another. So After Lily was born, he went to the hospital and got him self all fixed up. The conversation went something like this...

Me: " Hey, honey? Let's just go. We haven't paid yet, and we can just leave now and go home. "

Jacob: " No way. We are staying and I am getting this done. "

Me: "whine."

I think I am still mourning this decision. I still secretly wish that I could somehow get pregnant even though he is done. I have heard that it can happen, but seriously doubt it will. Jacob has made valid arguments that my back would not be able to handle another pregnancy, and he is probably right. Even without a job and without being pregnant, I hurt probably every three months. Right now is one of those times.

I picked up Madeline at church on Sunday and I think that was probably the worst decision of the month of May. Not only am I getting ready for Madeline's Magic birthday this Saturday, but it is also Jacob's birthday, and the end of school for the kids, graduation, Spring Art and Dance show, and my back is out. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CLEAN EVERYTHING so I won't be secretly judged by mothers on Saturday?

I need a maid.

Conversations : Laura and Jacob.

Tonight was just one of those nights. We had gotten the girls in bed, all tucked in watching a movie. We had a few minutes alone and of course, as usual, I am trying my BEST to get things done before bed. It is the only time I have where my energy is up and the children are not bothering me. I had gotten a tip to replace my regular dishwashing detergent with Borax powder and part Baking Soda. Still as poisonous as before, but better for the environment. I was sold. We were unloading the dishwasher, and were trying to determine if the dishes were as clean as they usually are. Note: My dishwasher sucks A$$ and I am trying to get them clean with the time that I have to still spank my children and till the earth.

That is when Jacob asked : "so.. what is on the agenda for tomorrow?"

I replied-" shootin' some B' ball outside of the school.

when a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started makin' trouble in my neighborhood. I started one little fight and my mom got scared and said 'you moving with your Auntie and your Uncle in Bel Air.' I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said Fresh and it had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "nah, forget it, YO HOME TO BEL AIR!!" I . Pulled. Up to a house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie Yo holmes, smell ya later! I looked at kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne, as the Prince of Bel Air. "

At this point , Jacob just shakes his head at me. I said "you don't even know what I'm talking about you HOMESCHOOLER!!!!!" and he said "YES I DO THE PRINCEOFBELAIR!!! "

HAHAHAHHAA.

I feel sorry for Jacob. I mean. I really taunt him. I make his life miserable sometimes with my silly, sleep deprived antics. I tell myself he loves it and that he needs the spice in me to make his life complete. Right?!

Yesh. He loves it.

Conversations : Anne and Jacob

Conversation I just heard:

::Jacob changing channels::

Anne: "NONONO, Daddy! "

Jacob: "You don't want to watch the news, do you?"

"YES! I've been watching the news for DAYS. I love CNN. Do you know what I have been watching? "

"What?"

"I've been watching ALLL about Haiti. "

"Well. Alright. I guess. Do you know who those men are? They are the past Presidents. "

"What are their names?"

"Bush and Clinton. "

"I KNOW who Clinton is. "

"But he was President before you were born. "

"Well.. I KNOW who he is. "

"Okay. Well, Clinton was the President Before you were born. And Bush was President when you were born. "

"DAAAAD. There where TWO Bush's . I know. ::frustrated sigh:: I know because we sing a song at school about it. "

"You do?"

"Yeah. And they don't sing about Obama or the last Bush, but I know who there were two. And there were two Roosevelt's, too. "

"Who was the First President?"

"Washington"

"RIGHT! My family is related to a President. My Mother was a Taft. We are related to the Taft family. "

And then it just sort of drifted off. Mainly because Madeline came in my room and then shut the door, so most of what I heard were the elevated excited things spoken. I just heard "DAD! President Bush went to Haiti!!" And then I giggled at how I don't like Bush and how "going to Haiti" means "going to Hell".

Then I guess Anne got tired of watching the Presidents speak about aid in Haiti, because now they are watching Jonah and the Whale.. the Veggie-tale video.

Most of what I will be doing today is trying to finish some knitting and crocheting, because once again, I am on my back, taking pills and trying to relax. I hate hate hate hate taking medicine. REALLY HATE IT. I have 2 bottles of pills that I keep very safe, and if I ever need them, really need them, I will still waver back and forth on the pros and cons of taking the medication. Even today as I got up, did my stretches and did some things around the house, I felt pretty good. Then the pain started. If I lay flat down, it feels alright. If I sit up or stand, even for a short period of time, I start have sharp and extremely painful shooting pains in my back, hips, and legs. There is a nerve being pinched by a bulging disk, and if I relax and not aggravate it, it will eventually slide back into place (the disk) . If I continue to aggravate it, it will get worse, and likely burst, spilling the little bit of moisture it has left out, and causing more pain than I need. I eventually gave in and asked for medicine. Jacob wanted to give me a pill, then coaxed me with "half a pill?" I finally agreed to just take some ibuprofen. It never really works, but I like trying that first. So.. I might blog some more. Or knit you something. Who knows!!!

A Year in the Life.

Recently I was watching on Tv all the celebrity deaths of 2009. Patrick Swayze, Michael Jackson, Brittany Murphy, Etc. It is interesting to think of all the immense talent that was lost. But in the light of hollywood and beautiful people, I have to admit it really makes me gag. I hate hollywood and all the trash that it promotes. The glamour, the sparkles, the dresses, it is really just a shame to fall into that trap, if you ask me. Perhaps I am just like Anne Hathaways character in the beginning of the movie "The Devil Wears Prada"... I just don't give a shit about all of it.

Of all the people that has passed, I only get choked up at one person.. Ted Kennedy. He fought and fought hard.. all the way to the end. I can't imagine having cancer, and battling the terrible disease while speaking in front of millions of people about Health Care reform. I almost cannot even write the words I want to express without feeling immensely sad for him.

This year has been full of changes, and great strides have been made (in my eyes) by electing our first African-American President. I am so proud and happy for the First Family. I have also learned lessons this year that will carry for the rest of my life. Lessons such as standing up for myself, and my children, living my life the way I need to.. not the way other people need me to live. It is a big lesson for me, because I am a people pleaser, and I am learning to love myself in the process of letting go of others. Big Lesson, and HARD. In it all... I am blessed and happy and feeling very fulfilled at the ending of the year.

Well, Internet, I hope you have a wonderful New Year. This is going to be a quiet one for me. I am home, in Jammies, with my Mom and husband and girls.

Many Blessings,

Laura

Things I hear my kids say.

Just heard from Anne : You have "Spaghetti-Breath, Lily!!"

LOLZ.

You Can't Always Get What you Want.

Lily has been going through this phase where she is just... retarded about the toilet. She is potty trained, and can easily go potty ALL BY HERSELF. Lately, though, she will not even step foot in that bathroom without one of us hovering over her, encouraging her that "she can do it! Go potty! sit down! Do it! Do it! DO IT! DO IIIITTT!!!" Eventually she will go, but another thing hinders her from finishing the job.

Flushing the Toilet.

She can't seem to get her little hands to push hard enough on the lever to flush it. And she gets really really mad about it. She will scream and cry, and instead of saying "Flush the Toilet Mama!" She screams.. "TURN ON THE SWISHIE!!"

I always end up laughing at her and trying to teach her to flush, but then end up flushing it myself and then that makes her REALLY MAD. Like, "why the hell did you flush it, woman?".

I do not understand 3 year olds. I figure this is a little glimpse of Teenager Lily.

Be Careful Little Ears, What you hear.

There are times in my life, where I have had an epiphany, an eye opening, an awakening to how things are or have been in my life. These moments of clarity to life's mysteries always leave me to be more of a grown woman, a little bit better of a wife, or mother. I never write about them, but keep them hidden in my heart so I will remember them and keep them close to me.

A moment like this happened to me recently and more than anything I was ashamed at how I had been acting around my children. Sometimes, children will say cuss words or make some action that is just like their parents. When the parents ask "where did you hear that word??!" Of course, the parents are immediately ashamed when they realize it was out of their very own mouths that the sweet innocent children heard those words. Sometimes over, and over, and over again.

It happened when we went on vacation recently, to Orange Beach, Alabama. It is my favoritestestest place to go. We have been there before, but actually, it is the first time I have ever really felt like I was on vacation. That is sad to say... but honestly, I don't get to go on vacation with people who let me be myself. This time, is was wonderful .. I was with my husband, my children, my mother, and our roommate Aaron. Aaron is Benstedman's brother. We claim them all as family (see Stedman/Senecal Thanksgiving), and when the opportunity came for Aaron to live with us in January, of course we wanted him here. I hope he never leaves. He is perfect with the girls (when we get to see him) and loves to play and be a perfect gentleman in my home and be considerate and kind and forgiving. It is wonderful .

So.. we are on vacation. This means we are in a place that has cable. Jacob took away my cable (I say MY cable for many reasons JonStewart) when we needed to save some money. He got a Tivo in its place and it is the best thing Jacob has ever bought, besides my wedding ring. We watched everything on vacation that we don't get to watch at home.... including the stupid stuff. On one channel, a woman is crying tears of joy... because she is hunting in the woods with her pubescent son, and they are waiting on this one buck who is oblivious to their little hideout. They waited patiently for three days for these deer to wander over to this field.. and they take their shot and she gets her buck. Normally we would never watch this, but by gosh we are on VACATION. While I am standing there, thinking.. ::poor deer. Poor kid!:: Madeline saunters over to the TV and yells " a deer! A DEEER!!! " and starts barking. At the TV screen. Loud. "bark! bark! Bark! bark!"

This is when my moment of realizing that every time I go over to the window or door to scare the deer out of my yard, and bark at them, my children see it. They are just mimicking me. And honestly, I look pretty stupid. I have decided to not bark at the deer anymore. I will just watch them from my windows... glaring at them until they run away.

I am going to be more careful about lots of things. :)

Seasons. They are a Changing.

I realize the last two posts were contradicting of each other, one was a "Wow" and one was a "Pow". In the College group that I am somehow (a God thing) a part of... they do this thing called PowWow. When they asked me to be a part of this group, and help out, I was flattered and jumped at the chance to hang out with the College group at church. Are you kidding me?? Man, an hour (or two, or three!!) without children and be around people who get to sleep and read books and listen to music.. probably music that I like? HELL YES.

So I joined. But then I realized I had sort of bit off more than I can chew. Dealing with a 2 year old like Lily... a job, a husband, a house to clean and those pesky Stedmans to deal with... (kidding BEN! pleasedon'thurtme) and I have two other children too.

So anyway.. they do these icebreakers, and I was already so nervous to even be there, and didn't know anyone, and then they do the POWWOW thing, and I thought I was going to pee in my pants right then and there. But you give a "pow", which is a negative thing that happened this week.. then a "wow" which is a positive thing. I think you understand. If you don't, you shouldn't be reading my blog, you idiot. But I am normally a nervous person, so speaking in front of others in painful to watch.

I started reading the book that went along with the class.. and I am surprised at myself. This book, called SEVEN, by Jeff Cook, has really ministered to me. What a blessing this class has been. (the wow) I feel like God has completely orchestrated the whole thing. It goes over the Bible's "Seven Deadly Sins" and let me tell you.. WOW. This book is amazing. I would encourage it a read for everyone.

So everything has been lacking lately. My proficiency as a wife an mother and house-keeper is all shot to hell. I just can't get everything done. So my expectancy in myself is going down. If I keep high expectations on myself I will just drive me and everyone around me crazy.

My house will be messy. I will forget homework. I might forget to brush my childs hair in the morning. I might be wearing mis-matched socks or need a drink at 3 in the afternoon. But this is the season I am in. And if your expectations of me are higher than this... I will go ahead and tell you that I will let you down. Cause I can't do much better than this.

Little known fact: I LOVE DAVID BOWIE. The Thin White Duke is a little dream of mine. Yes my husband knows. No, I do not rub it in his face. nom nom nom, Bowie.